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OAIP

Self-esteem and resilience

What is self-esteem and resilience?

Self-esteem and resilience is how we value and perceive ourselves. It’s based on our opinions and beliefs about ourselves, and includes our sense of worth and self confidence.

Resilience is the ability to cope with and bounce back from difficulties and challenge. Building resilience and self-esteem in children and young people is crucial for their overall mental well-being and helps them navigate life’s ups and downs more effectively.

  • Identification – what you may see in the child or young person

    • Has a poor perception of themselves as a learner.
    • Struggles to take risks in their learning or see mistakes as a part of their learning process.
    • Has low or poor resilience in learning and does not always persevere when things are tricky.
    • Does not always respond positively to praise and may disengage from supportive feedback when things have gone wrong, hindering them from developing a positive perception of self and developing an understanding of their strengths and weaknesses.
    • Does not always recognise or understand that they are accepted and valued as they are, or are worthy of other peoples’ time and attention.
    • Has not developed a sense of self-identity and belonging within the school and wider context (community, home, etc).
    • Finds it difficult to manage feelings or low self-worth, low mood, fear and/or anxiety without the need to withdraw or avoid.
    • Has limited self-help strategies when they experience poor or low mental health.
    • Does not attend school consistently.
    • Finds it hard to identify and predict which future events may lead to them feeling a particular emotion e.g. recognising that sports day may make them feel excited, worried, anxious etc.
    • May need to regularly take a break from the demands of the classroom.
    • Lack of confidence in their own ability to bring about change.
    • Is reluctant to try new things (to avoid failure).
    • May be reluctant to express their opinion and/or to make decisions.
    • May overreact to failure – may be an outward behaviour such as getting angry, shouting, verbal abuse or a deep internal distress.
    • May find it hard to own up to things, accept mistakes or apologise.
    • May feel the need to present themselves as superior to others, which may lead to being the perpetrator of bullying.
    • May experience performance or exam anxiety.
    • May experience intense emotional pain due to perceived or actual rejection, criticism or failure.
    • May avoid situations where they fear rejection, strive for perfectionism, or become ‘people pleasers’ to avoid disapproval.

     

  • Planned provision in school

    Based on need, some of this provision will be effective.

    • Use of a planned and agreed relational support plan to support all staff to use the same approaches with the child when helping them with their emotions.
    • Carefully planned support around curriculum access and engagement, particularly the impact of literacy difficulties on a child or young person’s progress and access to the wider curriculum, and their feelings about themselves as a learner.
    • Learning consists of short tasks that can be accomplished independently and provide a high level of success that is explicitly recognised.
    • Opportunity for small group or individual outdoor learning experiences.
    • Adjust the timing and duration of learning activities to meet the child or young person’s needs with proactive, regular breaks as needed.
    • Build on what the child or young person can do. Deliberately seek out opportunities to find something the learner can do well that will build a sense of belonging and purpose within the setting community.
    • Notice success and provide consistent positive messages. Staff notice and show a genuine interest in the child or young person’s passions and successes and provide enhanced opportunities for strengths to be noticed and celebrated. This could be shared through a ‘proud book’ or similar, which is shared across home and school to reinforce positive praise and reflection.
    • Praise and feedback given is task involving rather than ego involving for example “This is good piece of work because … “ not “You are so clever”.
    • Listen to the child or young person’s views. Plan opportunities for children and young people to identify their likes and dislikes and talk about preferences for example using creative approaches, collage vision boards, small world play.
    • Encourage the child or young person to view problems as solvable. A solution-focused approach is used and children and young people are supported to identify steps towards solutions.
    • Manage concerns around attendance using the ATTEND Framework as an early intervention tool to identify needs and manage the child or young person’s concerns around attending school. Additionally, adopt a relational approach to emotionally based school avoidance.
    • Support the development of self-esteem. Consider using the Five Building Blocks of self-esteem to establish sequential esteem-building steps that can be incorporated into the curriculum.
    • Provide support to manage anxieties and increase self-esteem and self-confidence through apps such as Lumi Nova.
    • Adults model that it is OK to make mistakes and are alongside children and young people, encouraging them to work through mistakes, demonstrating things can be repaired and overcome.
    • Support children and young people to develop a positive, growth mindset. Strength cards can be used to help children focus on what they can do, not what they can’t.
    • Consider the impact of possible Adverse Childhood Experiences on a child or young person’s self-esteem or resilience.
    • Support children and young people to manage feelings of perceived criticism or rejection. Help children and young people navigate the challenges of rejection sensitivity by acknowledging and validating their emotions. Support them in using positive affirmations to overcome negative thinking patterns. Develop a list of healthy coping strategies children and young people can use when they feel rejected, for example create a script, code word, or a hand signal they can use when they’re feeling too emotionally overwhelmed to communicate.
    • Be mindful about the language used when giving feedback. Focusing on the child or young person’s strengths more than their weaknesses. Asking specific, relevant questions, such as “Did you get stuck on this part?”, rather than asking why they had not finished.
    • Give clear reasons for endings or change so that the ending is not interpreted as a rejection. Create a positive memory book of shared experiences and fun times as a frame of reference to draw upon and look at.
    • Prepare the child or young person for situations or things that they may consider threatening or a danger, using visuals and solution-focused planning to help them plan how to move past this fear. Consider how the child can be helped to feel safe by significant adults.
    • Plan opportunities to develop positive mindset and thinking. Planned opportunities to build on resilience by teaching optimism skills. Help children and young people to develop ways to manage unhelpful thoughts, understand how thoughts affect feelings, challenge the accuracy of beliefs and how to avoid catastrophic thinking.
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